After college, it was a career at Price Waterhouse first in San Francisco then I transferred to Century City. Subsequently, I had some really great jobs in the entertainment industry. "Yes, the REAL Hollywood." No need to repeat it all since it's written in my profile already.
The thing that I now find challenging is working with and among stupid people. And I mean HELLA DUMB. Look, I'm not saying that I am the smartest person in the world. I learned a whole bunch of shit that I don't remember (what's the point when you can Google it?), I make stupid choices and decisions on the regular. I make a lot of mistakes. I am not perfect.
This feeling is not foreign because when I moved to Las Vegas, I worked as a consultant for several years. In that capacity, I had that same feeling when I wore various hats and had to work with accounting personnel who never did anything more than basic bookkeeping in their lives. It takes a LOT to deal with that $10 or $15/hour-minded person, have them talk down to you like they are "the business" (because they have no idea of your level). Because you are all about client service you smile and take their bullshit.
You try to be humble and respectful towards people rather than insulting and yet they can so easily say some of the dumbest most arrogantly offensive stuff. It's completely frustrating for me because I've been pushed academically and in my career for so long that dumbing myself down and putting up with constant insults can be EXHAUSTING.
I'm not saying I'm the smartest person in the world but I've been so challenged having to compete with some really really smart talented people. At PW we were called "the best and the brightest" and this was not an easy firm to get into. These people were fuckin' smart. Yes it's true , I ran into a lot of stupid people in corporate America too but it was balanced out by the really incredibly smart people I worked with that mentored and challenged me. I mean we are talking about people from the best schools with the best grades, and super duper high levels of ambition. These people pushed me far beyond my limits and what I thought was possible. One day maybe I will dedicate a blog post to some of the people that I worked with and around.
With all that said though...these stupid people, sometimes drive me crazy. I mean sometimes REALLY DUMB. Unambitious, unmotivated, illiterate, gettin-high/drunk-ALL-the-time, horrible communication skills, hood-rich, small thinking, cubicle-dwellers, 9-5 brown bag mentality, know-it-alls-dont-know-shit, unconscious, you name it...I'm not joking.
Recently this guy who got his head completely stuck up his ass, I guess thought he was going to play "manager" to everyone and said "I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING." And it's like nikka you don't know SHIT. You've been doing the same shit for 20 years while working a fuckin' 9-5 government job and now all of a sudden you want to act like somebody's manager or an agent?
You might think you know what you're doing but what in the HELL qualifies you to all of a sudden act and speak on everyone's behalf when you've never been a professional musician or performer? YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT HOBBYIST MAN and you DON'T know what the fuck you're talking about. Especially not when you're saying dumb shit like "if we can make a little money on the side doing this..." WHAT? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!
Meanwhile this idiot never once thought....hmmm I've been playing all my life, she just started playing recently and we're playing in the same gigs together. In fact, this fool started playing in stuff I was ALREADY in...didn't put me up on a damn thing. You would think that dummy would go, wait, maybe she knows something I don't know....I've been doing this shit over 30 years and both of us are in the same place??? How?
I'm not saying I'm as good as they are. But your success doesn't just depend on your talent alone. You have to be smart, you have to make strategic decisions, you have to make smart life choices, you have to do all kinds of things above and beyond just being a good musician/performer.
Furthermore, as a side note...if I was just trying to use people to get "ahead," wouldn't it make more sense for me to actually use all the people I met in Hollywood not your broke ass sleeping on somebody's couch who ain't got a pot to piss in? I mean have you REALLY read my profile?
If I REALLY wanted to use somebody or use a connection, do you REALLY think I would be starting with you?
Making this fresh start and complete life change has been like going back to an old neighborhood and seeing Craig and Smokey 20 years later still sitting on the porch doing the same shit trying to tell you how to run your life. Maybe some of you should put the bottle down and stop smokin' what you smoke. I'm just sayin'.
I remember waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day, I had a job making $11.33 an hour as a receptionist and seriously I thought I was a fuckin' BOSS. I mean you couldn't tell me I wasn't RICH back then.
Every year, my parents used to take me to a place called "Charlie Brown's" for my birthday and you would think I was going to a five star restaurant the way I felt at the time. The thing is though, once you start making a lot more money and you become accustomed to going to some of the fanciest restaurants in San Francisco, Beverly Hills, etc., a place like Charlie Brown's turns into a Mickey D's equivalent. At PW, you weren't even allowed to bring a lunch because they did not want clients thinking they didn't pay you well. It was very very customary to go out to the finest restaurants for lunches and meetings and order from some of the best places when working late.
Don't get me wrong, I love a fish filet and a big mac every now then and of course my budget has changed with this fresh start so I make different choices and sacrifices. HOWEVER I'm just saying your perspective about what's possible changes. Your perception changes and you can't "undo" it.
If you've ever been to a really nice resort or hotel, you cannot go back to Motel 6 or Travel Lodge and think it's about something. That hard bed, thin blankets, those rough towels and little ass bar of soap. NO. NO. NO. Yes, if you're on a budget, you are grateful for a place to sleep at night, but you know you are definitely not at the Ritz Carlton or St Regis.
If you've been to Hawaii or somewhere with beautiful beaches, you KNOW that sitting on any beach in Southern California is ai'ght but not exactly the same level. Hell when we were young, we thought going to Alameda Beach was cool. Mmmmmkay....
I'm just saying once you've been exposed to new and better shit, you KNOW the difference.
You can't go from making a ton of money to then turn around and have someone hand you $100 and you're supposed to feel like a millionaire. It just doesn't work that way. Making this fresh start has really opened my eyes to why SOME artists are in the predicaments that they are in and where I am DEFINITELY NOT headed.
I spent years around people making serious BANK, and I just find it so difficult to be around people who just want to ask for "gas money."
Third of all....GOD'S GOT MY BACK SO I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY.
Proof: Me performing (with Eva Longoria in the front row looking on), not too long after he threatened me. Ha haaaaaaaa.
And...moving on then.
Another thing that happens A LOT is that people will try to confound, BAFFLE and bamboozle you with complete BULLSHIT. They will tell you things like I own this or that company and we toured the world or we're going to have an award-winning so and so do this, or "I played for the Dalai Lama"....I mean let me tell you, I've heard it all. Sometimes I say to myself, "WOW I must really be talented for these fools to go through all this effort."
They just hear me or see me, all of a sudden they want me to play with them or be in their group and they let the BULLSHIT start flying. I mean yeah, okay sometimes, guys (especially) ARE trying to impress me because they want to play music with me and play in a myriad of other ways too. Yeah, I KNOW IT. I'm a woman, I get it. I'm kind of cute :D and SOME guys will go a little crazy sometimes trying to impress me but I hate liars. And sometimes I'm not really sure if the problem is that they believe their own bullshit OR if they are just trying to trick me into being impressed.
All I know is I've heard a LOOOOOOT of bullshit.
There was someone who said something like "we're going to another level; we're going to Hollywood." So I'm thinking hmmmm, okay. Hollywood sounds cool. BUT...people have no idea where I come from, they don't know my background, nothing. So, when someone says "we're going to Hollywood" my mind goes back to some of my experiences in Hollywood:
Okay yes, maybe I am a little bit.
I just can't help that my level of thinking is TOTALLY different and I can't change it. I CANNOT MAKE MY MIND CHANGE AND GO COMPLETELY BACKWARDS. IT'S TOO LATE. I've already been exposed to too much and I know what's possible. I already took the red pill.
This fresh start has been a challenge for me because it's a different caliber of people. When I meet talented people, I am now becoming much more aware of the fact that you can't just be talented, you have to also be smart, success-minded and make smart decisions. You have to have confidence and a belief in yourself. You cannot wait for perfection. You have to take risks.
I have learned to stop listening to other people. Especially stupid people. If I look at a person trying to give me advice or tell me what I should do, and their life is not a reflection of where I want to be, I have learned to ignore them and their bullshit comments. I have learned to spend WAAAAAAAYYYYYY less time on people who are not headed in the same direction as me and if I do see I'm wasting my time I WALK AWAY.